Thursday, May 24, 2007

ABOUT deadqueerproud


The title of this blog comes from the book of essays by Jon-Henri Damski with the same title: dead/queer/proud (Firetrap Press, 2002).

Both titles arise from some obvious and not-so-obvious things. He is dead. He was queer and proud. As well, however, Damski took on a lot of fads, both in his former academic life and in his everyday, queer Chicago life. One of his favorite targets was the de-evaluation of the Classics, of which he was a scholar.

The point: this dead white guy was proud of the life he lived...

John Michael Vore, Publisher
Firetrap Press

Sunday, October 19, 1997

Homokind

Frank J. Tipler, in his enlightening book, The Physics of Immortality, reports (pg 370):

At the Council of Florence 1442, the Catholic Church laid it out forcefully: ‘The Holy Roman Church, firmly believes, professes and proclaims that none of those outside the Church (Extra Ecclesium nulla salus), not Jews, not heretics, can participate in eternal life, but will go into eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels, unless they are brought back into the Catholic Church before the end of life."

This doctrine clearly makes the Roman Catholic Church the most extreme fundamentalist church of them all.

Today Jews and heretics have been replaced by gays and lesbians. We go to the fire, unless we go (back) into the Church before our life ends. No option for eternal life for us.

In the 15th century the Church sold the notion that heaven is only for the select few. Kept its priests at the door of the big Disco in the sky. Tempted all queens who wanted a VIP pass to the stairway to heaven. Admit One Selected Soul-a lucky person to get in.

Even at the time, this doctrine of selectivity was challenged. If the Church happened to be wrong, then it meant the Church falsified itself and stood between a loving God and Jesus, who admitted everyone and humankind. It meant the Church shut off the electrifying flow of love between God and her people. God left heaven’s gate open to all.

For our tribe, I like the word HOMOKIND. HOMO from Latin refers to the universal generic man, who like gays and lesbians, “are everywhere.” Tiny in numerical size, but universal in application. That’s why a church which calls itself “universal and whole” should be the first to include us all as equal members, equal to the body of Christ.

Pope comes from the word pontifex, which means “bridge builder.” Hardly. Instead Popes use their bully pulpit to brand us “molokai,” softies, sissies, the no accounts. Tragically, because of our soft, kind and gentle nature (the KIND in HOMOKIND) we seem to stir up and provoke their brutal atoms. So they harass and keep us outside the Church and try to keep us away from eternal life. This harsh punishment hits gay sons and lesbian daughters hard, puts fear instead of the love of God in our older members.

For 27 centuries the Church has been wacky and out of balance. In the beginning all it talks about is HOMOGENITALITY. As Rick Garcia has remarked: they keep sticking their noses into our genitals. They are one rigid kind of unkind church that concentrates all its fire in condemning one kind of homo/sex. They particularly refuse to acknowledge over the years how we have evolved a loving kind of domestic partners.

The Church has a deliberate stand against domestic partners at City Hall and in Oak Park, as recently signaled by Archbishop George. Chicago aldermen have and make better sense than the pack of bishops.

It took them half a millennium to seek forgiveness for standing between God and Galileo, between God and the Jews. Will it take them another 500 for the church to reach the apology and realization stage with us? YES. Meanwhile they themselves, because they deal in an ethic that is dark, closed and closeted, suffer a horrendous perception problem. Many if not most who stand outside the Church believe these men in fine silks and dress are gay.

Believe that homo priests and pedophile clergy run the shop.

If in the next millennium they want to live up to their name “universal,” they will have to incorporate outsider gays and lesbians with the folks inside the Church, decent folk who do not like their mind trapped in such deception. Ironically the Church’s salvation hinges on their outreach, love and acceptance of gays and lesbians, not our obedience to a cabal of secretive repressed homos, men who exhibit too much genital expression in their talk about us, and not enough kindness in actually dealing with us.

[Publisher’s Note(s): Along with “The Field of God,” this makes up the last essays Damski wrote and edited in 1997. It was reprinted as Schizo-File No. 32, under the title “By the time you read this I’ll be a dead queer, but I was always homokind to you.” in dead/queer/proud (Firetrap Press, 2002)--John Vore]

The Field Of God

I am hesitant to enter the field of God. Reluctant to talk about God. She does not need my talk. Etymologically speaking the primary Indo-European and Teutonic roots of the word “God” are “invoked,” “the invoked one,” “the called on Being.” She does not need me to call on Her, if She is all-knowing and all-powerful.

The Greek root for the word “God” from the same family is kauchaomai, which means “I boast.” To presume to call on God is to boast.

That’s what I find so unappealing about all God talk from street corner to coffee shop. It causes us to boast and imagine that because we are having a conversation with the All-Knowing that somehow we are all knowing too.

In all God talk from the bible on, there is a viral overload of distasteful sexism. God is assumed to be a He/Him. Only in the last century have we broken the old iron code and realized that God is both a He and She, Him and Her. Those who cannot handle the pronoun shift, I cannot handle.

For me:
God is
God is love
God’s love will take care of us queers,,for God is the original loving He/She. And He/She is more concerned with love and forgiveness than sin and condemnation, more concerned with saving you and your neighborhood of domestic partners than in keeping anyone away from the Field of God and the stairway to heaven.

The Church and its bully pulpits, with their overly gooey and false interpretations of the Bible are even more virulently anti-gay today, hurling more vile doctrines at us. This is because we are the last to become the first, and because we offer the most serious threat to the monarchical rule of the Church.

When Paul picked out the sin of homosexuality to condemn, he chose it because it was the “safe sin” in his day. If he had picked circumcision or dietary law he would have spoken against sins his audience of Jew, Gentile Christians and Romans. Then as now, because of our long-standing denial mechanism, few if any believed or would say they were homosexual. Paul picked the safe sin to condemn, the one many felt was not serious and and the one they didn’t take personally.

In the daytime, Jesus threw out the Book of the Laws of the Jews. Love God as God loves you. Love your neighbor as you want your neighbor to love you. At night Jesus kept company and ate with some very queer types: whores, tax collectors, street people and us queers too. He loved us queers, and forgave our sins.

The Bible is so overpoweringly sexist: it continually disrespects women and gay men. We are no-accounts both on earth and in heaven. No voice - no rights nor say. The Men of Sodom ask Lot to send out the ambassadors of God “so we can know them” (causing most biblical scholars to twist the verb “know,” like an eight, to mean “have intercourse with” (ha,ha)). Instead, Job offers as compensation his two daughters “who have not yet known a man” (another sick joke). He can do this because the women are property, his property!

Strange, only God does not think you have sinned when you commit a queer act. Your mother does. Your lover does because you have betrayed him/her. Your brother and neighbor, but only She, who like us is everywhere, does not think you have sinned.

The only way to lord it over someone is to love the sin as well as forgive the sinner. Preachers and pastoral letters proclaim that you love your son for being gay, but not for doing gay (sex), sawing your son in half. The essence of being gay is gay sexuality.

Gays and lesbians have progressed like evolution, while the Church inches its way historically. They still refuses to see us for who we are.
HOMOSEXUAL IS NOT GAY.
DOMESTIC PARTNERS DO NOT LIVE IN SIN.
UNLESS THE CHURCH IS WILLING TO
REACH OUT AND OFFER US TOTAL SALVATION,
THE CHURCH IS DOOMED.

A wise theologian once said “To think you can teach and preach this stuff, makes you an ass. But to stay out of the Field of God and the eternally joyous and gay rewards of eternal life, makes you an ox.” We are still a threat to the Church after all these centuries because we challenge–to its face–monarchical and patriarchal ownership. God does not look kindly on people who want to keep us out of Her Church and Field. For by Her love and leave we are either all saved, included, or the Church is doomed.

HER LOVE GUARANTEES
WE ALL HAVE EQUAL ACCESS TO
THE FIELD OF GOD.


[Publisher’s Note: Along with “Homokind,” this makes up the last essays Damski wrote and edited in late October 1997. It was reprinted as Schizo-File No. 57, under the title “Final Scene: Academic odd ball lands in Chicago for mid-life Crisis, ends up writing columns for 20 years - and his last one has to be about the fucking Catholic Church and I’m not even Catholic. (I am out of here.).” in dead/queer/proud (Firetrap Press, 2002)--jmv.]

Wednesday, November 13, 1996

Sorry Heads, Worry Warts


The theme of my recently published book of poems Virtually Incurable, But Not Yet Terminal*, is simple: "It's poetry, don't worry about it." "It's life, don't worry about it." "It's cancer, don't worry about it!" "It's AIDS, don't worry about it!"

One of my doctors, and a few of my friends, are puzzled by my attitude towards cancer. They think I should "worry more about it." I answer: "Doesn't worry cause cancer? Why worry more about it?"

In poem 100, where I make this theme explicit, a typo-or what I call an Omegaism-keeps creeping back into the poem. Where I wrote and originally composed, corrected in proof, the line was to read "It's poetry, don't worry about it." Instead, despite all my efforts and the good care of my publisher and second proof reader, [John] Michael Vore, a typo keeps coming back to make the line read: "It's poetry, don't sorry about it."

My dyslexia occurs at the end of words, not the beginning. I know "sorry" from "worry." I can distinguish S from W.

After seeing the typo, I had to rethink what I wrote. What is the difference between the two simple words SORRY and WORRY? We think we know the difference, but how do they differ in their physical elements, history, or etymology?

“Sorry” comes from the French sar and means "sore," "pain," "grief." It is an ouch. Kiss it and make it go away. An 'ouchy,' a sore, a blotch, a typo on the skin. Like cancer is a sore, and ouch, a blotch or a typo on the skin.

“Worry” is an Old English word from worien and the verb wyrgan, pronounced like you were saying dialogue n the movie Fargo.

What it means in English is hard to get a hold of. We have it, and then we don't have it. That's what we worry about.
We get cancer. Then we don't have it. We are "cancer free." Then, we get it again. That's the kind of thing that makes us worry warts.

In Old English root, the verb "to worry" means "to choke or strangle." When we worry, we sit stewing, inactive, letting the evil inside us build up until we want to reach out and choke or strangle somebody.

When I explained this to Jamie Von Roenn, my primary doctor, she was amazed. "Worry turns to violence." Yes, Self Violence. The pent-up anger builds until you want to reach out and commit a violent act.

I told her a good example of this has been American foreign policy since World War II. Americans sit comfortably home "worried" about the hot spots in the world. The worry builds until we reach out, unpredictably, and bomb a little country or strangle, with an economic blockade, some petty dictator. Our policy is based on worry.

Clinton is a Worry Wart. He's slick until he gets worried about the polls, then he reaches out to strangle someone.
Dole is a Sore Head.

Cancer is a sore.

Dole is a cancer, and Clinton the worry that causes sores, causes ouches all over the world, causes cancer.

No wonder so many hated their choice in the last election between the one who is cancer versus the one who causes cancer.

That's why now I don't worry about it. If a genuine Omega typo appears in one of my printed poems, I'm sorry. Ouch. But I don't worry about it. It's there to teach me/us something.

Had the sorry/worry typo not appeared, I would never have thought about the real difference between them. I may have gone on to worry more about my cancer, instead of treating it like my doctors do, one sore at a time.

[Publisher’s Note(s): This originally appeared in Jon-Henri Damski’s column, “Queer Thoughts & Mini-Essays” in Windy City Times on November 13, 1996.

[*As Jon-Henri used to joke, everything we did had three titles. His first volume of poems, then, has three titles:
(a) Virtually Incurable, But Not Yet Terminal (b) Poems for the Fo(u)rth Quarter and (c) X-Ray Reports; when published in digital form, we used (b): Poems for the Fo(u)rth Quarter.) Jon-Henri can bee seen reading and discussing the ideas in this essay by clicking here.--John Vore]

Thursday, November 7, 1991

The First Queer

Teenager Isidore Ducasse (1846-1870), making up a name for himself – Comte de LautrĂ©amont – that would rival and sound like the name Marquis de Sade, wrote Maldoror, a prose poem, an epic cycle of songs that is the most evil book ever written by a dead gay European white boy.

Professors of French literature call him "a strange case" and then go on to other subjects. Albert Camus called him in print (1951) "a homosexual" (that's obvious), and labeled him a "banal genius" while appraising his fanciful writings as the work of a "choirboy." Dr. JeanPierre Soulier (1964) produced Lautréamont: genie ou maladie mentale, a whole book about him based on the few scraps that we know about his actual life, and proved that he was "a schizophrenic" (more obvious news).

Professor David Steel of Lancaster University writing (1995) in The New Oxford Companion to Literature in French calls him "the maudits of French literature," the cursed one, the wretched one. "His premature death (at 24) is a sign, however, that he was beloved at least by gods of the savage sort." Steel makes a cute inside joke and calls him the "midnight taggeur," as though he were a graffiti artist caught 'bombing' suburban walls. Steel cannot resist passing over the sex/murder scenes in his poem without reminding us good souls that for this strange author "male adolescents are the preferred prey, charmed, abducted, and destroyed in an atmosphere of psychopathic mayhem that smacks of the homosexual, but equally subverts any such inference." (How coy!)

In most gay histories and handbooks of literature, like Neil Miller's Out of the Past (1995), he is left out and not mentioned. The only mention you will find of him is in a queer context. Critics will say that he influenced contemporary authors such as William Burroughs and Dennis Cooper.

Because his life-span is coeval with Oscar Wilde, he dies when Oscar was 15 turning 16; and because Oscar often went to Paris, and our guy wanted to have a queer buddy, 15-years-old, I propose that we imagine our guy and Oscar as buddies at the beginning of our movement, each representing two different ways of being us: one gay, one queer.

Wilde was a bisexual family man, and gay only on the side. Our guy was too queer to be gay, and like his hero Maldoror, he abandoned his family for a nomadic life with strangers. He did not compose stage dramas of domestic love and tranquility. He wrote a blood-spilled poem of horror about birds of prey and sea monsters. For him, the "great universal family" was a sham. He took on his father, a Chancellor in the French Consulate, and God the father. In one wild scene he meets God out on a "Supreme Drunk," sees Him sitting on a rock "his arms adangle like a consumptive's testicles." Another time he finds God "caught in the sight of a throne fashioned of human excrement and gold upon which, with idiotic pride, body swathed in a shroud made of unwashed hospital sheets, sat he, who calls himself the Creator!"

He took on God and earned the wrath of his contemporaries, the embarrassment of his family, and the scorn of his teachers. His hero, at the beginning of his tales, "takes a penknife with a sharp edged blade and slits the flesh at points joining the lips. Looks in the mirror and wonders, if he made a mistake."

Like his hero, our author never did find "someone to love," a queer buddy. While his possible buddy Oscar was out creating the emergence of the modern gay movement, our guy had urges for queer punk raging in his head. And no one to hookup with. No Quimby's Queer Store, no, Homocore bands, no Joy Division, no 'zine scene. No wonder he zapped his brain and died at 24, with all those queer thoughts whirling in his head.

He doesn't even have a "proper name." His family and family name, weren't good enough for him. The name he chose to write under, Comte Lautréamont, is a rude pun in French mean something like "the bill goes to the other," or in his case, Daddy pays the bills.

His enemies said he was a homeless street beggar, living in a place like the Lake Hotel, eating rats and cats out of garbage cans. Not true. His Daddy paid the bills, even though he bit the hand that fed him.

He lived in a place more like the Belmont Hotel. He stayed up late at night in his room playing the piano and composing his poems of songs. He was the first rock 'n roll poet, he invented riffs that could fly like a flock of birds. But his neighbors complained about the noise. His readers and teachers threw down his self-published book as though bird shit had been dropped on them.

I have given him a temporary homocore punk name: Iszy, short for "Who is he?" I think queer culture starts with him. He invented the genre formally called The Cruelty of Words. Just as later Antonin Artaud would invent The Theater of Cruelty. And today Dead World, SPY, Throbbing Gristle have invented The Music of Cruelty. And Dennis Cooper writes the novels of Teen Cruelty.

Blood and fierceness mark their style. Gentleness their soul. "If you have a decided taste for carmel," our guy says, "no one will conceive of it as a crime; but those whose minds are more forceful and capable of greater things, prefer pepper and arsenic." In his queer mind you are no criminal, if, like Oscar Wilde, you are gay and like soft carmel-like things. He would never call you the names he was called: criminal, homo, queer, schizo. All he ever wanted was a buddy, a 15-year-old like Oscar to hang out with. In the fifth song of his Fifth book, he cries out: "0 incomprehensible pederasts, not for me to hurl insults at your great degradation; not for me to cast scorn on your infundibuliform anus." He would not condemn Oscar Wilde's "fudge tunnel," nor send him to jail.

Two years before he died (1868), he wrote a sweet letter to himself saying exactly how he felt in his queer heart:
I was young, had deep loves, and my heart would overflow with enthusiasm! And I mingled with the crowd, I mixed with my fellow men, speaking my thoughts out loud! And I withdrew from them and they said to me: Arrogant one! And from time to time in my solitude, my loves, my repressed enthusiasm broke out into ode; and my companions laughed and used to point me out as a madman. So, I suffered, doubted, cursed, and no one believed me sincere. It's as if this heart, once so full of strength and love were annihilated.

The gay movement started with the wish to talk to, to say the love that dare not speak its name. The queer movement began with Iszy's shattered heart that took on God, man and the family in cruel words of song. Postscript: Maldoror is out in a new edition in English by Exact Change, (Cambridge 1994). A translation with introduction and notes by Alexis Lykiard, including all of Iszy's other poems and letters and biographical outline. I did not give detail of Maldoror because I think previews often ruin a good movie; I will let you discover the breathtaking scenes and brilliant writing for yourself.

[Publisher’s Note(s): This originally appeared in Jon-Henri Damski’s column, JHD in Windy City Times on November 7, 1991. It was reprinted as Schizo-File No. 54, under the title “If I could build a time machine that worked this is who I’d get (back off man, he’s mine!)” in dead/queer/proud (Firetrap Press, 2002)--John Vore.]
 
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